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Courage to Play

by Ken Mattsson

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1.
Playtime 00:53
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2.
Fighting Inertia 01:41
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3.
Creamed Corn Attacked the Suburbs 02:51
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4.
Sloths at the Bazaar 05:38
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5.
The Glance 01:51
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You did not know How hard the mere glance from you at lunch Affected my life I staggered to stay upright and tried to catch my breath Your eyes, that smile, the cute nose Set off something in me that I didn't know was there But knew was off limits The way you picked up your backpack The way you moved through the crowd Stopped my heart from beating and air from entering my lungs You held the desire of all the the girls And the awe of all the boys Although those two mixed and swirled in me to create an explosion that could not be allowed to surface I must keep control of this because if anyone finds out I will die

about

Courage to Play an experiment. Throughout most of my life, I was gripped by a panic any time I had to create anything. Early childhood experiences had taught me that to show anything inventive of yourself would result in being bullied, harassed, ridiculed, and generally ostracized. I spent a good portion of my life trying to just do something right so I wouldn’t be hurt. I would tell everyone that I wasn’t creative, yet it showed itself to others as I couldn’t keep it in. While I was always working on being technically good, I didn’t dare be expressive. Being free and letting the creative juices flow and trying things out was dangerous enough to bring upon panic attacks.

Through a lot of therapy and encouragement, I’ve started to be able to create things, which culminated in my first recording, Breaking Through. This year in the 2022 Fifty Songs in Ninety Days Challenge (a.k.a. 50/90), I was encouraged to try playing with all the settings in Garageband, the Digital Audio Workstation (or DAW) that I have used to record my vocals and instrumental performances. This allowed me to just try things and to see where they might lead me, and what that led me to was some freedom to try new things and have a new approach to creating music.

What you have here are my first trials at creating and layering music. It’s mostly instrumental, with one spoken word track. Thanks to so many people in the 50/90 and February Album Writing Month (a.k.a FAWM) communities, and especially Beto Dealmeida, Wobbie Wobbit, Robyn McKenzie, Paul Hudson, and Rayna Richardson.

credits

released October 27, 2022

All Songs performed, written, and arranged by Ken Mattsson.
Recorded & Mixed at BeaconBeats Studio, Arlington, Massachusetts
Mastered by Mermaid’s Tavern Digital Studios, Waltham, Massachusetts
Cover Design by Ken Mattsson
©2022 BeaconBeats Music

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Ken Mattsson Arlington, Massachusetts

Ken Mattsson is a vocalist and multi-instrumentalist who has worked in the genres of folk, pop, classical and many others.

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